Beware of “Ass” Bitting dog!!!

I woke at 5 am-ish with the intention of going for a walk to the beach ¾ of a mile away to watch the sun rise and then write my morning thoughts. Sounds like the perfect morning adventure on a tropical island Paradise?....Right!
Well, yes I have had some amazing morning sojourns, but this was my first time leaving the squaw at the Tee-pee on a new part of the Hawaiian North American reservation.
I did my best not to disturb our hosts sleeping dog named Michael (yup a dog named Michael! go figure) or the grazing goats. I was even careful climbing over the gate to the main road 75 yards away.

That was when it dawned on me that all the local Hawaiians owned dogs and the road to the beach was flanked by canine troops. Backing up the Hawaiian national guard were the wild Roosters that have no idea what sun rise or sunset means as they start at 9pm and every hour, its as though the FDA had a meeting and decided to dump all the worlds dysfunctional Kentucky fried rejects on Maui.

So there I stood on the other side of the gate mulling over my delima. I was surrounded by the beautiful light green 6ft tall Hawaiin wild grass, so remaining at the gate to watch the sunrise was out. If I walked the gauntlet I would alert the troops and the Cornel Sanders association. That was when Michael our Reservation dog decided to aid me in my decision. He began with a low growl, I responded with a soft whisper
“ Michael! good boy its Me”
He responded with a louder growl
“ ME WHO”
I Gave a low whistle followed by
“ Here boy come on”
Michael responded with a Loud Bark
Translation = Your arse is mine boy, whoever you are !!!


Then all Hell broke loose, Michaels friend next door a beige bull dog with a deep throaty bark that would raise the hair on your neck told The dog across the street that lived in a big yellow house with a sign that boldly declared “ BEWARE ASS BITTING DOG” that the Haole ( Hawaiian for white person) was on the move, he in turn woke the golden retriever who alerted his girlfriend at the Big Kahunas.With in seconds all illusions of a peaceful walk to the beach erupted into....

“The British are coming, the British are coming.”

I had no choice I muttered “Shite” and proceeded to walk down the
Gauntlet towards the beach. Lights came on some activated by senseors others by human touch. I stayed in the middle of the road walking slowly so as not to appear threatening and give the sniper a good friendly wave or look like a thief in flight. I bid good morning to a curious native who did not respond . Then the roosters joined in, by this time the sun was starting to rise,thats a first I thought!


Well after 150 yards I came to a right turn that led of to my Friend Israels house where my Motorcycle was parked and decided to abandon the beach as there were Hawaiians camping on the beach with the reserve guard and I had no desire to become shark fodder.


When I got to the bike Israels Dogs recognized my scent and gave me a welcome break, then I hit the starter rode of to buy coffee and watch the remainder of the sunrise up at the IOW Valley and just as I rode in there My Friend Hanalei Colledo a local kahu ( Chief) was just getting out of his truck, it made up for my stormy beginning to be greeted by a welcome smile and hug. We chatted as the sun rose above the palm trees to light a new day on Maui.

Catch ya`ll later Aloha


Michael Revere :0)