Tuesday, October 29, 2013

ROAD TO MAUI # 16 Cynthia`s First Hike with Jungle John

On The Road to Maui # 16




Last Saturday I decided to part with my old writing friend who has accompanied my first thoughts in the morning as I tackle the playing field of keys. My friend has been the inspiration of many a good conversation , blog,column and the catalyst for many new relationships in my small world. He accompanied me when I first left Ireland to move to London England. Since then he has helped me in Canada, Amsterdam, and the USA where we traveled many of her great states where I loved to drive my Toyota Dolphin RV or ride my old BMW motorcycle endlessly.


Writing today with out him is a struggle,its like discovering a whole new person or moving to another culture where I don’t speak the language,I feel lost...Help God Please!!!!


Last Sunday Cynthia and I went on a hike with Our Friend Jungle John who is a professional Trail Guide here on Maui.......


privateguidemaui.com.


John has been leading hikes these past 30 years and knows the deepest parts of this fair isle that have rarely heard the footfall of a tourist or even a local for that mater.
John is an explorer of not just the island but has gone deep inside himself to release his true self. When you follow him or more to the point as you walk along side him he describes every plant,tree,flower,insect,animal , what you can eat or what will give you a heli ride to the ER! In Short Jungle John is some one who I highly recommend for a private tour, he recently guided English Royalty and that says a lot.


Well `we all met at Haiku community center. Also on Cynthia’s first Maui Hike were Bonita and Eleanor two life long friends of John, they share the same passion for nature and life as John- so we were in great company. But alas my life long friend was not with me,it had been nagging me all morning, I did not know if I was emotionally ready to tackle this adventure into the jungle of Maui with out him.
We drove to mile marker 23 on the Hana road parked grabbed our packs and headed up the long winding trail. Along the way John would stop and show Cynthia various plants and trees. When we came to the first waterfall he Guided her down the rocky slope. We all went for a dip in the pool and swam the 75 odd yards to the Falls and had the best back massage you can imagine as we backed in under the thundering cascade,it was a blast. Then we headed to the next one a mile or so up the trail. Along the way we saw some of the most spectacular breath taking scenery and views , Maui is an incredible island and if you liked JJ Abrahams series “LOST” you will love Johns tours with the only exception there is no Hatch... Hahaha.


I will let the pictures speak for themselves because without my friend I can not find the right words or flow to describe it all. I will say this Cynthia had an amazing day and is even more in love with Maui!!!
Thank You Jungle John , Bonita and Eleanor for a wonderful day and we know its just the beginning!!!


I would like to close with a few words of tribute to my former life long friend.
Juan! you have been a great and worthy companion , your Dark brown liquid sunshine flowed tenderly through my body warming many a cold morning . Cynthia`s country Argentina has sung you praises for years as with all of North America, may you live long and prosper in a true Organic state.
Here`s to you “Juan Valdez.”..Salut!!!!


Yup, I gave up Coffee!!!!


Cheers Thanks for reading Michael and Cynthia :0)


Ps : the Headaches are Gone Yayyyyyyy!!!!!!





















Thursday, October 17, 2013










Beware of “Ass” Bitting dog!!!


I woke at 5 am-ish with the intention of going for a walk to the beach ¾ of a mile away to watch the sun rise and then write my morning thoughts. Sounds like the perfect morning adventure on a tropical island Paradise?....Right!
Well, yes I have had some amazing morning sojourns, but this was my first time leaving the squaw at the Tee-pee on a new part of the Hawaiian North American reservation.
I did my best not to disturb our hosts sleeping dog named Michael (yup a dog named Michael! go figure) or the grazing goats. I was even careful climbing over the gate to the main road 75 yards away.

That was when it dawned on me that all the local Hawaiians owned dogs and the road to the beach was flanked by canine troops. Backing up the Hawaiian national guard were the wild Roosters that have no idea what sun rise or sunset means as they start at 9pm and every hour, its as though the FDA had a meeting and decided to dump all the worlds dysfunctional Kentucky fried rejects on Maui.

So there I stood on the other side of the gate mulling over my delima. I was surrounded by the beautiful light green 6ft tall Hawaiin wild grass, so remaining at the gate to watch the sunrise was out. If I walked the gauntlet I would alert the troops and the Cornel Sanders association. That was when Michael our Reservation dog decided to aid me in my decision. He began with a low growl, I responded with a soft whisper
“ Michael! good boy its Me”
He responded with a louder growl
“ ME WHO”
I Gave a low whistle followed by
“ Here boy come on”
Michael responded with a Loud Bark
Translation = Your arse is mine boy, whoever you are !!!


Then all Hell broke loose, Michaels friend next door a beige bull dog with a deep throaty bark that would raise the hair on your neck told The dog across the street that lived in a big yellow house with a sign that boldly declared “ BEWARE ASS BITTING DOG” that the Haole ( Hawaiian for white person) was on the move, he in turn woke the golden retriever who alerted his girlfriend at the Big Kahunas.With in seconds all illusions of a peaceful walk to the beach erupted into....

The British are coming, the British are coming.

I had no choice I muttered “Shite” and proceeded to walk down the
Gauntlet towards the beach. Lights came on some activated by senseors others by human touch. I stayed in the middle of the road walking slowly so as not to appear threatening and give the sniper a good friendly wave or look like a thief in flight. I bid good morning to a curious native who did not respond . Then the roosters joined in, by this time the sun was starting to rise,thats a first I thought!


Well after 150 yards I came to a right turn that led of to my Friend Israels house where my Motorcycle was parked and decided to abandon the beach as there were Hawaiians camping on the beach with the reserve guard and I had no desire to become shark fodder.


When I got to the bike Israels Dogs recognized my scent and gave me a welcome break, then I hit the starter rode of to buy coffee and watch the remainder of the sunrise up at the IOW Valley and just as I rode in there My Friend Hanalei Colledo a local kahu ( Chief) was just getting out of his truck, it made up for my stormy beginning to be greeted by a welcome smile and hug. We chatted as the sun rose above the palm trees to light a new day on Maui.










Catch ya`ll later Aloha


Michael Revere :0)




Wednesday, October 9, 2013

The Mint: Congressmen Drink and Asia is on the line as half ...

The Mint: Congressmen Drink and Asia is on the line as half ...: 10/7/2013 Portland, Oregon  – Pop in your mints… We recently saw reports that a number of  Congressmen reeked of alcohol  as they exited...

Tuesday, October 8, 2013


On The Road to Maui # 14




Tuesday oct 8 we are at Maui coffee rosters in Kahalui.............


Living of the grid is something I have always desired to do. We have slowly been moving towards this the last 3 years . Actually I quit watching TV about 12 years ago ,amazing my headaches went south to the Antarctic and may they never return. Down there some day some poor soul will uncover a time capsule full of my past annoying advertising buy it now this will change your life / make you happy headaches.






On a totally different note just went over to the Facebook village and low and behold the first picture I see is my Sister Niamh on a desert adventure in Dubai. Niamh was my hero , friend growing up back in Ireland. Niamh being the elder Lemon had to take the brunt of all our family issues. It is always hardest being the first lady :0)
I truly believe it was training for the woman she is today. Niamh has her on business....


Niamh Quinlan - Travel Counsellors
www.travelcounsellors.ie/niamh.quinlan

"The best way to describe Niamh is …...If the ship was going down she would be the last one off. When she sets her mind to a new venture she follows through, quit is not in her nature. Thanks for being there for me Niamh !!! Cynthia has many of your amazing qualities" :0)






Ok, Back to living of the grid, the best thing about being the writer is you direct the course of the Pen-Ship!!!


The other morning while sitting on the out-shed pot, (yes! its like little house on the Prairie) I had the sudden Revelation!! of where 'Sir William Gerald Golding' got the inspiration for his famous book “Lord Of The Flies”...... after a while they don’t bother you.


You become accustomed to nature around you, Geckos,Rats,huge but harmless spiders, our Hosts Dog Calab Michael and the Local mosquito population, oh and lets not forget the wild Roosters that cock and crow all night some one forgot to tell them about the sunrise Que. They are hilarious to listen to all night, well I guess its sunrise some where :0(


Then there are the 40 odd goats that mow the surrounding grass, yes they do smell like goats cheese which makes it bearable as I like good cheese.
The goats remind me of the movie “Men Who stare at Goats” staring George Clooney ( Hey, he is Irish No wonder I like his sense of Humor)
Anyway I practiced staring at every goat that turned my way but alas none of them fell over dead. In the end I just waved and they gave me that look as if to say
“ Whatever turns you on mate”
“Goats Cheese” I replied and its followed by Bonaparte s retreat!!!


All things considered I love sleeping outdoors, we are truly praying about making this a lifestyle . You will find me years from now living the Life with My Hot Girl-friday,actually we will not want to be found. Think about it...The First nut that shows up and declares
Doctor Quinlan I presume”
Will find Jimmy Hoffa`s resting place :0)


Cheers ,Aloha


Michael and Cynthia :0)









Sunday, October 6, 2013

Much ado about nothing ...on the road to Maui # 13


Nothing great to report just saying Hello :0)

Waiting for my coffee to brew. At 6am the sea was close to a mill pond and as the sun began to rise the waves began to roll. Amazing how nature works. Last night we watched the Sun go down on Baldwin beach in Paia. Baldwin beach has some amazing white sand and my brain is stuck in neutral this am. No creativity flowing. Maybe its because we had a late night with somme good friends,no drinking to speak of a quarter glass of wine at most. Watched the new movie “admissions” would give it a B+ supposed to be a comedy with Tina Fey ( 30 Rock and Paul Rudd) we wanted a good laugh. This movie did not crack us up, just a few ripples. Actually “Dispicable me 2” trailer that played just before had us rolling, got to love those minions A+.




Ok, Its two hours later we are back in Paia for sat am breakfast...We are at Paia Bay Cafe....The coffee is not to good this am. Coffee can make or break Cynthia`s morning!


Now its One day later sunday sept 6 4:47pm sitting outside Tee-Pee writing to you, yes you on the mainland reading this ,,Yup..How`s it goin !!!
The last few days have been tiring, boy I,m scarping he bottom of the barrel for words and thoughts. This is a good challenge to write with no inspiration. Now many writers say if your not inspired walk away. Well I,m tapping my keys away, sitting across the Table from me is our North American Indian Host and new found friend. Would love to say we are having a Pow, wow but no they are texting hahaha a lot healthier than smoke signals.,





Yes ,its just a slow lazy day for us on Maui, Cynthia is lying down. Tonight we have a camp fire and tomorrow who knows.
Its been over 4 weeks since I pushed the Starter button on The Old Beamer and we began our new journey, a lot of rubber , ocean and white sand has passed under our feet...well I,m going to quit while I,m a head and just leave you with some pictures of the last few days...Aloha from the slow life


Love Michael and Cynthia :0) xoxoox

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Lord I need a blanket....Please :0(


On The Road to Maui # 12




Last weekend a good friend of mine flew to the Island of Oahu Hawaii for a church conference on Prophecy. It never occurred to him that it would be cold over there so he did not pack any warm clothing, I mean it is Hawaii after all the land of sunshine and tropical visions.


He arrived that night ,booked into his Hotel with two other friends . Next morning he goes to the church to start the weekend conference.
The temp outside was the usual high eighties so our friend from new york was glad to walk into an air conditioned auditorium.
All was going well until they increased the air conditioning. He began to shiver in his tee shirt shorts and sandals. Now he did have a the Jesus look, you know long hair,beard but alas no long robe. And there were no old testament look alike Prophets around willing to loan him a robe or Hood.
He asked the conference security if they could loan him a blanket, but they told him he should have dressed warmer, to be honest they were rather rude.


There is nothing more uncomfortable than being either to hot or cold, not enjoyable at all, like when the waiter sits you under the cold air blower at Shari s / Denny’s or even the Ritz carlton depending on the size of your wallet ?


So my friend became increasingly concerned with his present predicament. Then all of a sudden one of the sessions was over and they were calling people to come forward for prayer. As many went forward they would become overwhelmed by the holy spirt and fell on the ground. When theses people went down the conference ushers would cover then in Blankets!!!!


Yes! Bingo Our Hero saw his chance for warmth ,without hesitation he went forward for prayer raising his hands in praise and allowing the prayer team member to lay hands on him. Of course moments later he was on the floor with eyes closed praising God and anticipating the warm blanket. Because everyones cunning new-yorker was in no hurry to get up, the ushers covered him with his long sought after blanket!! ( yes, he did need prayer for warmth0


Then began the battle for the return of the blanket or more likely the flight of the New york Bumble Bee.
Some time later after a well earned nap Kramer!! ( Lets call him Kramer) gets up heads in the direction of his seat with his prize in a firm grip. One of the security team approaches and asks for the blanket, Kramer asks if he can use it a little longer as he is cold and receives the same cold reply that he should have dressed appropriate and no he cant keep the blanket.
He boldly tells rent a cop that he has flown to Oahu for the conference , paid for the conference and is keeping the blanket until it ends.
The security man gives up for now at least.


Lunch time comes ,Kramer like a a little kid takes his blankie to the lunch table where upon the Head of security a female with a cold Russian Tank lady personalty tries to get him to give up his Blanket. Kramer is with a group of people eating and refuse`s. Tank lady insists but is unsuccessful even after using threats of removal from the conference.
Kramer asks her “what would Jesus do”, she with draws for now


After Lunch another security nut tries to take it as Kramer is walking back in but he is holding on to it like a new York Jewish woman who has found a bargain at a sale.


Its hard to believe this actually happened at a Christian conference for sure it would happen in Cell block 13 but a church ?


Well through out the day the “Knights Templar” are unsuccessful on their crusade of retrieving the blanket , Kramer had to keep one eye on his blankie and the other on the conference proceedings.


Finally the conferance comes begins to wind down and its time for the prophetess to prophecy. Kramer is the last one in line and when he stands before the Female prophet he is informed he is too late as the conference ran late and they only had a half hour to Prophecy. He asks cant I just get one word the answer is no and a rent a cop takes the opportunity to take the Blanket!!!!!


Well long story short when the conference coordinator finds out what happened to Kramer he was furious with security and when Kramer called me that night I was cracking up imagining the scene and asked his permission to write it for you all, it was just like a Seinfeld episode


Cheers ...Thanks for reading


Michael and Cynthia :0)






Wednesday, October 2, 2013



On The Road To Maui # 11





Today began the first step of Cynthia`s new business venture on Maui . “Guapa Smoothies” was officially registered in the state of Hawaii complete with License . This is Cynthia`s first venture into the Food Vendor world. Yes, she does have an online KHM travel franchise know as …..


CGC Travel Services | Online Travel Agency Booking Deals
res.travsearch.com/travel/.../vendor.rvlx?...Cynthia...Cagnoni%20Quinla...


but as anyone in the self-employed world knows its good to have a few extra pokers in the fire in case your Texas hold-em talent ends with an unplanned dip in the Mississippi after a bad night on the steam paddler with some angry confederates.


All in all I,m very proud of Cynthia for daring to live on the edge and follow the leading of the holy- spirit!!!!.


I was very impressed with the state employee`s here, Cynthia was treated like family. I have had many conversations with people from Hawaii over the phone before we traveled here and each time they went beyond the call of duty. In fact they made it personal ,if they could not help they would recommend some other agency or even family member or acquaintance who could not like the cold corporate generic answers I,m used to


''Matson Seattle Don Speaking”


Hi Don this is Michael, do you ship motorcycles to Maui”


Sorry sir our Seattle office does not handle that, you might want to try someone else Thank you,is there anything else I can do for you today”


Yes I have an Elephant I want to ship to the white house”
Sorry sir we only ship donkeys”


Then I called Pasha Hawaii !


It was like I was calling my Mom :0)


Aloha this is Cindy thank you for calling Pasha”
Same question and 5 minutes later we are still talking, she made it very personal as if it was her own company and would not let me hang up until she had answered all my questions. At no point did she try to get me to book,she just wanted to help.


I find this to be the general rule here rather than the exception. Of Course if you are an uptight rude person,well those personalities can never seem to figure out why bad things always happen to them. If they would just remove that hard broomstick from their derriere they would get champagne in first class and live long and prosper ...Hello !!!


Well guess what? we don’t have to leave the Tee-Pee. Our gracious host informed us last night upon their return that we can stay as long as we wish. We all lit a nice fire and cooked some chicken and talked until late. God has truly been looking out for us since we left Portland. We are not the types to milk something to the bone but when you live a life of faith in God your life is no longer in your hands.
This is a very hard pill for many to swallow and actually all you have to do is ask God for the faith to do it.
I`m not saying its a cake walk believing in someone you cant see, but I would not miss it for the world.
Our Heavenly Pop loves it when we jump of the cliff without a bungee cord, the world may think we are nuts and the undertaker down below encourages us Yelling Jump!!! , Jump!!!!, but he never gets to meet us as our true Dad scoops us right up into the next adventure he has planned for us.


OK! That's it for this morning...thanks again for reading I,m officially of the writing clock and making coffee....cheers


Michael and Cynthia :0)