Monday, April 1, 2013

Maui # 23

Ok !so I,m at the Maui DMV with Israel my Hawaiian buddy waiting in line for him to renew his drivers lic.
Anyway as I was standing in line I noticed some Magazines and picked one up to read,actually they were all the same.

The Rag was Called “Maui Vision”it is a guide to natural living with lots of photo`s of Happy Fulfillment lit up people...Right! And Guinness stout makes you healthy wealthy and for some relief from DMV monotony.

So The disclaimer is I,m disconnected from my body for the next 400 words or more to the point I,m well lit ? all right its normal for me , hey just killing time, Bang!!!:0)

So on with how to be Happy!!!Seems real simple right, love your self ,love your neighbor , Henry the big hairy red neck next door, his timid brother lefty and beat the crap out of your enemy, simple Right!

Hey a kid could figure it out, no one really has to tell us what we should have to do, we have this thing taking up space in our head that is better than a super computer and for some crazy unknown reason there are a bunch of village idiot scientists trying to reproduce it, didn’t they get the Memo?

But for those of us that feel we must hug a tree ,climb a mountain to have a deep moment with some old fart that looks like a California raisin, there are the ...drum roll please “MAUI ASCENDED MASTERS”

Sounds Like the sequel to Bruce Lee`s “Enter the Dragon”......Humans and their titles...hey if you want that much attention try skinny dipping in a glass hot tub on the back of a flat bed truck going down the I-5 at rush hour whistling Dixie.

Yes, they call themselves the Ascended Masters of the Universe and I thought we were all equal??

One in particular I would say is about 400 LBS and looks like she should be a Sumo wrestler in a mud wrestling competition at “Dirty Nellies” pub in Dublin.
But she can show you the road to peace for a small fee and if you don’t pay, well she wont have to hire a collections firm, she will just put a lean on your house , physically :0)

I must have read about 10 articles and all claiming they can bring peace into your life,using all sorts of methods, hot rocks, perfumes, oils, tuning forks and yes even the HUMMMMMMMING People and if you don’t pay them you get to meet their lawyers who remove your peace.

Ok ,Ok all you Tree huggers and Green activists relax take a blood pressure pill, I,m just having some fun while I watch people grow old at the DMV pre- retirement party.

Honestly I,m seriously considering standing up and giving a lecture about the first thing that comes into my head.
Now that would truly be living in the moment and give the sleeping security guard “Bob” ( Why are they always called Bob? ) his 15 minutes of fame on the 6 o’clock news. Of course if I stand up in here nobody would see me , hey have you seen how big some of these Local boys are over here, they make Dolly Parton look like a deformed Midget. I would be like those guys in the fa-ca-we tribe in Darkest Deepest Africa in the long tall grass shouting as they jump up and down Yelling

Where The Fak Are We :0(“

Ok, Saved by the bell think its our turn..Thanks for reading this moment in the life of an Irishman at
the DMV in Hawaii surrounded by Boulders from Colorado :0)

Later You nuts oxoxoox

The Big Kahuna :0)